I initially stated writing this from the perspective of our family - our own road to unschooling and how that forced me and my husband down a path of deschooling...or maybe it was the other way around? To make a long story short, I found as a parent that the proces of unlearning all (or at least some) of my schooled behaviour and internalized beliefs has been equally the most arduous but also rewarding part of choosing unschooling as a way of life. That was a very quick summary of what deschooling means for unschoolers. And by unlearning, I also mean there is an equal part of relearning - as that would be part of any change process - rediscovering, re-membering.
I have slowly realised, however, that as intricately interweaved unschooling is in everyday life, just as equally interweaved is neurodiversity with descooling (for our family at least). Let me explain - deschooling asks a continuous "but why..." It is like having a very insistent and curious 2yo in the back of your head. Annoying? Yes! But also highly amusing and will take you places and into conversations about things you probably never knew you had to discuss or visit. It prompts us to question stuff like, well why do we use forks? (Actually forks were not used as a common household dining utensil till the 17th century, someplaces later). In general, asking questions about a lot of things that we take for granted. Not necessarily to get rid of everything - I mean forks can be useful - but to understand why, what we sometimes take for granted as general truths, may not in fact be so...obviously true.
So why this is intricately connected with neurodiversity is probably mostly because there are always more "why"s when you live with and talk with someone who is neurodivergent. A lot of these general truths are also connected to what we could call common sense. And this is where it is also quite interesting to dive into history. The term common sense was actually first used by the ancient Greeks as a term (koinē aisthēsis )that connected or unified the senses - or the interpretation of our sensory input. But then the Romans took the same term and applied it to something completely different and similar to how it is used today - as a cultural or social barometer if you will. Common sense is culturally specific - what "makes sense" in one culture may not be so obvious for someone from a completely different background. And in terms of neurodiversity the difference in the connotation of common sense means that we go from something felt in a body to something culturally and socially implicit. And for a lot of people, neurodivergents in particular in my experience, the second connotation is what makes common sense socially exclusive and even...shaming. The way that we often judge someone's ability to navigate social situations - or their common sense - often leaves some neurodivergent people perplexed. So many unwritten rules! For my own part it also means I am constantly checking myself relative to others - am I eating too fast? walking too slow?
So if deschooling can be a door into exploring and questioning the ways we culturally and socially interact, the "rules" we think prescribe "normal" behaviour - neurodiverse people are our tour de force in this respect. And maybe the first thing we need to do is to redefine the term common sense. How liberating would it be to interact with people in a way that makes sense to you, according to your internal compass. I guess there would be a lot of akwardness - neurotypicals would feel immediately out of place - but probably also lots of interesting conversations when we start to deschool the way we are together.
With love, Signe